Coping with rejection when online dating

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Rejection is part and parcel of online dating, but it definitely shouldn't put you off pursuing your dream of finding someone. Whether it's not getting a reply to your message or not getting a second date, you're bound to feel the sting at some point, so being able to cope and move on is vitally important. Here are a few tips that will stop it from holding you back.

Don't take it personally

This is the golden rule. Although it may feel very personal to be rejected at any stage of the dating process, it's crucial to remember that it's not about you. There could be a hundred reasons that someone doesn't reply to your message, and none of them are because you are somehow not worthy or attractive. Equally, if someone doesn't want a second date it will be because they don't feel a spark, which should have no bearing on your self worth. Someone who doesn't know you has no authority to judge you, so chalk it up to their loss and move on.

Stay positive

You'll handle rejection better if you can stay positive. If someone didn't message you back, don't get gloomy about why. Maybe they've started seeing someone, maybe they're really busy, or maybe they aren't the type of you want to get in a relationship with if they can't even be bothered to respond. Remaining upbeat will stop any perceived knock backs from ruining your dating experience.

Don't give up

Although there are a very few lucky people who meet the perfect person on their first ever date, the vast majority of people send loads of messages and go on loads of dates before they meet someone they like. You have to put some time in, so if you let an initial rejection put you off, then you'll never get to meet all those people who could turn out to be The One. Plus, the more dates you go on, the easier it will be to move on from the ones that don't work. 

Use it to get some empathy for the people you turn down

Online dating isn't a one way street so there will be times when you don't want to reply to someone's message or go on a second date. Use your own experiences of being rejected to gain some compassion for the people you inevitably have to turn down. Figure out a nice 'thanks, but no thanks' message to send and think about assertive but not unpleasant ways you can say no to seeing someone again.

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