The secret to winning at dating

Winning at dating.jpeg

Everyone wants to know the secret to winning at dating, right? That one trick that will land you a string of great dates until you finally meet The One and everything magically falls into place. The truth is that there isn’t one special trick that will lead you to your happily ever after, but there are several steps you can (and should) take that will give you a huge head start on everyone else and, if you apply them consistently, will help you win, sooner or later. Follow these tips and step up your dating game.

Be proactive

If there was just one secret to winning at dating, it would be this. Waiting around like a wallflower to be picked never works: you have to take the initiative. Choose the people you’re interested in and message them, rather than sitting around doing nothing whilst your inbox to fills up with people you aren’t really interested in.

Message length really matters

Striking the right balance when it comes to sending messages will help you get replies and, therefore, dates. Sending a message that is too brief, like ‘Hey, how are you?’ suggests you aren’t actually that interested, whereas sending a very long message is not only a) boring to read but b) can come across as needy. A message of around 90 words gives you enough space to make an impression but without coming on too strong.

Be honest, authentic and positive

Lying on your dating profile in terms of age, looks, body shape or achievements might be tempting but is pointless if you want to meet people in real life. As soon as your date realises you’ve been telling porkies, the date is effectively ruined, so be your honest and authentic self online. However, make sure you are presenting yourself in a positive light. For example, if you’re a snorer, this isn’t something they need to know before they’ve even met you.

Develop a thick skin

If you’re serious about meeting someone, you need to be able to deal with rejection. Being turned down at all stages of the process is part and parcel of online dating and you need to develop some strategies to cope with it so you can shrug it off and move on quickly. Time spent agonising over why someone hasn’t replied to a message or doesn’t want a second date is time that could be spent sending more messages.


If you haven’t yet met the person of your dreams, you have to keep going. It really is as simple as that. The more people you message, and the more people you meet, the more likely you are to find someone. Keep searching, keep messaging, keep dating and don’t get downhearted: that magical date where the sparks fly is just around the corner, if you persevere.

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