After the stress of divorce, it may be a while before you’re ready to start thinking about dating again. Everyone has their own timeline for when they’re ready to get out there again, so don’t be afraid to wait until you’re totally ready. It’s important to reflect on what has happened and take stock, as jumping straight into something may not be a good idea if you’re not emotionally ready. Once you are prepared to take the plunge, follow these tips to help you navigate your new dating life.
Ask yourself if you’re dating for the right reasons
Whilst a little distraction is a good thing when you’re going through a hard time, it’s important to give yourself the time and space to grieve and heal. Jumping into a new relationship before you’re fully ready may just compound your feelings of sadness, so make sure you’re doing it because you’ve moved on enough to enjoy it.
Set reasonable expectations
Don’t approach a date assuming you’re about to meet The One and get married. It’s possible your first post-divorce relationship isn’t going to be a rebound, but it’s rare to walk out of one long term thing and straight into another. Be prepared for your dates not to work out, so you’ll be pleasantly surprised if and when they do.
Be honest about your past
There’s absolutely no point in being misleading about yourself, your life, your past relationships or your kids, if you have them, either in your online profile or in person. Eventually, the truth will have to come out and you will look, at best, dishonest, and all of your time and effort will be wasted. It’s important to find someone who genuinely shares your values, and who likes you for who you are.
Take it slowly
Don’t throw yourself into something serious with the first person you meet. Speak to multiple people online and go on plenty of dates. If you’ve been with the same person for a long time you may automatically seek out something that feels similar, but remember that you’re looking for something new. If you have children, don’t introduce them to your new partner until you’re very sure that they’re going to be around for the long haul.
Enjoy yourself
Dating should be fun, so try not to take it too seriously. Don’t approach every date like you’re going to end up being with this person forever, as a lot of the time you just won’t hit it off. However, you will have a lot of fun times with new people, which has a huge amount of value in itself. The more dates you go on, the more you’ll be able to relax and enjoy yourself.
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