How to give your dating profile an exciting spring clean

Like anything, your dating profile will become dull and dusty if you don’t give it a little spruce up every now and then. Though you may think that once it’s complete you don’t need to do anything else, there is a lot to be said for making changes on a regular basis. People who have seen your profile before but not get in touch may change their mind if they see new photos or narratives. Here’s how to give your profile a boost for springtime.

change YOUR PICTURES

Updating your profile is a surefire way to freshen up your profile. Even if you think the one you’ve had as your primary shot for ages is the best photo that was ever taken of you, it’s time to change it. People who have previously passed you by will have their interest piqued and you’ll gain a whole new audience.

BE SPECIFIC ABOUT what you enjoy

If your profile currently states that you like drinking wine, going to the gym or enjoy ‘culture’, it’s time to get specific. Do you enjoy lifting weights or doing kettlebell classes? Have you been on a vineyard tour around California? Do you love visiting modern art museums? Adding detail makes it easier for people to start a conversation with you.

ASK A FRIEND TO WRITE YOU A NARRATIVE

The beauty of MySingleFriend is that you don’t have to do all the hard work as a friend can write about you too. It’s a unique feature of our site so make sure you use it! Having someone else chip in some stories and details about you really makes your profile come to life.

be specific about WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR

It really helps potential dates to know what you’re looking for and what you’re likely to respond to. We don’t recommend including too many dealbreakers, such as ‘must be brunette’, but saying you’d like to meet someone who loves being outdoors helps potential dates picture themselves with you and will be more likely to get in touch.

STAY IN A POSITIVE MINDSET

It’s important to make sure you’re a shining beacon of positivity when online dating, rather than adding doom and gloom to someone’s life. Of course there’s always room for a bit of a moan but save it for when you meet someone in person, rather than putting them off you by including it in your profile.

If you’re looking for long term love, sign up free to mysinglefriend.com and get searching!

Six ways you can tell if someone is genuinely interested in you

Working out if someone you are dating is genuinely interested in a long term relationship can be difficult. However, there are certain things to watch for that will let you know if they’re thinking about taking things further, whether it’s very early days or you’ve been seeing each other for a while. Here’s how to tell…

THEY SEND THE FIRST MESSAGE ONLINE

This one is very clear. If someone messages you first, they’re interested enough to take the initiative and drop you a line.

THEY REPLY IN GOOD TIME

Someone who replies within minutes or a couple of hours, rather than days or weeks, is interested in you. Don’t expect instant replies though, as you want any potential partner to have a life and interests outside of you.

THEY TALK BUT ALLOW YOU TIME TO TALK TOO

If someone either hogs the conversation or barely says a word, they don’t have much genuine interest in you. A person who genuinely wants to get to know you will listen to what you have to say whilst also opening up about themselves.

THEY PROLONG YOUR DATE

If someone suggests you get dessert or coffee, rather than rushing off at the first opportunity, they want to spend more time with you.

THEY ASK YOU out again

The clearest indication of whether someone likes you or not is whether they want to see you again. However, some people might feel a bit shy and ask you in an obtuse way, so make sure you’re switched on enough to realise when they’re doing so.

THEY MAKE CASUAL REFERENCES TO THE FUTURE

Talking about things you might do together in the future is a great sign that someone is looking at a future with you. For example, if you mention a festival and they say ‘We should go together’ you can be sure they’re into you.

Fancy a date? Join mysinglefriend.com now!

Dating profile resolutions for 2023

January is traditionally the busiest time of year for online dating as people are focussed on making changes and switching things up. With that in mind, here are a few simple ways to refresh your MySingleFriend profile and make 2023 the year you meet The One…

update your photos

Be honest with yourself: do your pictures genuinely reflect how you look now? If not, it’s time for a change. There’s no point in pretending to be someone you aren’t, as you’ll find you rarely get a second date. Get a friend to take some new ones, following the golden rules of good profile shots: a smiling, colourful, head and shoulders shot.

tell people who you are

Get specific about who you are and what your interests are. Don’t say you’re a foodie, explain your passion for Andalusian recipes. Don’t say you like films, say you love the work of Francis Ford Coppola. Adding detail allows people to get a real idea of who you are, as well as offering great hooks to open a conversation.

explain what you’re looking for

Obviously you’re looking for a date, but where do you want that date to lead? Are you looking for a bit of fun or a long term relationship? Do you want kids or are you after a partner to join you on a footloose and fancy free life of travel adventure. Being precise about your hopes and dreams will make the process of finding someone who shares them much quicker.

Be upbeat

In the doldrums of January everyone is feeling a bit bleak so make sure your profile is the complete opposite. Ensure your pictures are colourful and joyful and keep your description positive by avoiding moaning, banging on about your ex or talking about past dating disappointments. A little bit of cheer will go a very long way.

don’t get downhearted

It’s rare for someone to click with the first person they meet when dating online, so don’t fret if meeting someone you like takes a while. If a date doesn’t work out, try not to take it to heart. There’s someone out there for everyone so get back on MySingleFriend and keep searching.

Fancy a date? Join mysinglefriend.com now!

4 reasons why it's great to be single at Christmas

Christmas can feel like a tricky time if you’re single. Instagram is full of loved up couple couples wearing Christmas jumpers and exchanging gifts, festive films like Love Actually are pushing the romance and it’s easy to feel a bit flat. However, there are some very big plus points to being single at Christmas - here’s why flying solo at this time of year is actually the best.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO VISIT THE IN-LAWS

Choosing who to spend Christmas with is a minefield when you have a partner and it’s easy to fall out with both your partner and your family about it. And if you do decide to forego seeing you own immediate family and spend it with your partner’s, there’s no guarantee you won’t end up wishing very hard you were elsewhere. When you’re single you can please yourself, and that is a real luxury so enjoy it whilst you can.

YOU CAN AVOID THE GIFT GIVING STRESS

For many couples, giving presents comes with a big dollop of stress. Will you spend roughly the same amount, or does someone splash out too much? What if your other half barely puts any thought in when you’ve combed the internet for hours for just the right thing? How about if you’ve dropped hints for months and it turns out they’re completely tone deaf when it comes to your desires? If you don’t have a partner to give a present to, you won’t have this worry.

YOU CAN LOOK FORWARD TO MEETING SOMEONE

Despite what we might hope for in terms of romance and togetherness, Christmas can actually put a massive strain on relationships. If you already spend a lot of time in each other’s pockets, Christmas is only going to make that overfamiliarity and general irritation worse. If you’re single you can spend Christmas dreaming about that wonderful someone you’re going to meet next year instead of getting annoyed at your partner because they’ve put the decorations up wrong again.

YOU CAN OPT OUT ALTOGETHER

Everyone should spend one Christmas doing exactly what they want with no obligations, so why not make this one yours? Spend it with a gang of likeminded friends or go it completely alone and spend the day watching whatever you want on telly, or going out for a long walk. The end of the year is a great time to reflect on your life and get yourself in a great headspace for 2023.

If you’re looking for long term love, sign up free to mysinglefriend.com and get searching!

The importance of being honest about your dating goals

When you join a dating website, you are looking for a simple thing: a date. But what are you looking for beyond that? Some people will know they are looking for a serious relationship, while others are simply looking to meet new people. It doesn’t matter what you’re looking for, but it’s important to be clear about it. Read on to find out the importance of being honest about your dating goals…

Think about what you want before you sign up

Before you start meeting people, spend some time thinking about what you want. Long term relationship? A few fun dates? Just trying it out? Be honest with yourself so that you can be honest with the people you meet.

communicate your desires

Whether you let people know what you’re looking for on your profile, or within the first few messages, it’s important to let people know what you’re looking for early on in the process. If you’re after something casual but your date is looking for something serious, they won’t be happy if you don’t tell them until you’ve met up several times. Being clear from the word go will save any potential upset later.

Don’t be afraid to be honest

It’s important that you don’t shy away from being absolutely clear about what you want because you’re afraid they’ll be upset or angry with you. Being honest is the best way to respect them and their feelings. By communicating what you are looking for you’ll enable them to make an informed decision about whether dating you is right for them.

be resolute

If the person you’re dating is unhappy about what you want, don’t be swayed into changing your mind. Going along with what they want will only lead to unhappiness for both of you further down the line. Stick to your guns and be clear about your boundaries.

keep checking in with yourself

As you go on more dates, you may find yourself changing your mind about whether you’re in it for fun or for the long term. Keep checking in with yourself about what you want, and remember that you can always change your mind.

Fancy a date? Join mysinglefriend.com now!

How to optimise your dating profile

When it comes to getting your page high up on Google, optimisation is key. It needs to be accessible, easy to understand and nice to look at. But did you know that the same principles can be applied to your dating profile? Here’s how to make sure yours is working as effectively as possible…

Pay attention to spelling and grammar

If your profile isn’t easily understood, people will quickly move on to the next one. Take care with spelling and don’t use text speak, as it looks sloppy and like you don’t really care about your profile. It’s also important that you keep the language you use fairly simple. Intelligence is attractive, but an overwritten profile with lots of long words is likely to put people off.

Share your hobbies and interests

Common interests are important, so be sure to make sure it’s easy for people to find out what you’re into. Don’t be vague and say things like ‘films’ or ‘sport’. Get specific with a short list of the films you really love or talk about sports you regularly play. This allows people to quickly build up an idea of your life.

Choose an image that shows who you are

We often think that we need to choose a photo that looks ‘sexy’, but this is usually a mistake, as we aren’t very good at judging what makes a good picture of ourselves. So put away those pouty, moody shots that show a bit of flesh and go for a well-lit, colourful, head and shoulders photo. And smile! It makes you seem friendly and approachable, and people are much more likely to contact you.

Write about what you’re looking for

It should be easy for potential dates to find out what you’re looking for out of a relationship. Is it marriage and kids or just a few fun dates? If you’re clear about what you are offering and what you want, people will feel easier about dropping you a line. It will also stop potential problems before they crop up.

Keep it upbeat

Just as you wouldn’t enjoy reading a web page full of misery and negativity, people don’t want to read a dating profile full of it either. Don’t mention break ups, exes, work woes or lists of pet peeves. Keeping things light and upbeat is a tactic much more likely to attract some lovely people to your profile.

Fancy a date? Join mysinglefriend.com now!

Self-sabotage: are you ruining your own chances?

Sometimes we think we’re trying to achieve something but unconsciously we’re ruining our own efforts. If you aren’t getting as many dates as you’d like, it’s important to have a look at how you’re approaching online dating and whether you’re standing in your own way.. Here’s how you may be sabotaging your dating life without even realising.

YOU AREN’T LOOKING AFTER YOUR PROFILE

If you’ve been online for a while and you aren’t getting much interest, it’s time to shake up your profile. The most important thing you can do is add new photos, but small details like changing the age range of the people you’re looking for can also help. A stale, neglected profile won’t do you any favours.

YOU DON’T REPLY TO MESSAGES PROMPTLY

Whilst you don’t need to reply instantly, if you leave it too long to get back in touch, potential dates will think you aren’t serious about dating and will move on. Make time to reply to all messages at least once a day.

YOU AREN’T SHOWING ENOUGH ENTHUSIASM

Playing hard to get rarely works, and it is definitely a turn off if you’re communicating online and haven’t even met yet! Enthusiasm is attractive, so show your excitement about meeting up with people and getting to know them.

YOU’RE TOO PICKY ABOUT WHO TO DATE

If you view all potential date’s profiles looking for reasons not to date them, you can’t then claim there just aren’t any good people out there. If you look for the good things and give everyone a chance, you’re much more likely to meet someone.

YOU’RE UNAVAILABLE

If you’re so busy with work that you barely have time to schedule a dentist’s appointment, let alone a date, you’re going to find meeting someone hard. Consider whether now is the right time to be dating, and if you need to make changes so you have time to actually go on dates.

YOU’RE NOT PUTTING DATING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LIST

The above point leads onto this one. If you aren’t making time to give dating the attention it deserves, you will find it very hard to meet someone. If you’re really serious about your dating life, make it a priority, and you’ll soon end up with some great dates.

Fancy a date? Join mysinglefriend.com now!

Is it better to ghost someone or be honest?

‘Ghosting’ is a dating term that means abruptly cutting off contact with someone without warning or explanation. They ignore messages and phone calls and essentially vanish into thin are, just like a ghost. Is it ever OK to ghost someone or should you always be honest? Let’s have a look…

Why do some people ghost?

Basically, because it’s an easy way out as stopping contact with someone is much easier than having a potentially awkward or upsetting conversation. You don’t have to have any confrontation, or feel bad for hurting someone’s feelings, if you avoid all contact and hope they get the hint.

It’s also possible that they may have been ghosted a few times themselves, and think it’s an acceptable thing to do in the current dating landscape. They may think that, as the person they’re dating could be seeing other people, it doesn’t really matter if they just disappear.

How does ghosting impact others?

Because it’s an ambiguous act that leaves people not knowing where they stand, it can have a bad affect on their feelings. They may feel confused about what they’ve done wrong, rejected and upset. If they’ve been on a few dates they may feel like the relationship is going somewhere and started thinking about the future. Losing this this imagined future can be painful, especially if they can’t talk through what has gone wrong with the person they were seeing.

Is it better to be honest?

The short answer is: yes. Although being honest about your feelings can be hard, it’s much kinder to be clear that you don’t want to see someone any more, than to leave them hanging on. You don’t necessarily need to go into detail, but keep it light and kind, for example by saying something like ‘You seem like a really great person but I don’t think it’s going to work out between us. Good luck and take care’. This makes it clear that you don’t want to see them again, and the outro demonstrates that you aren’t looking for a big conversation about it.

How someone deals with your decision is up to them, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for being honest with them. In fact, you’re ultimately more likely to feel guilty about ghosting them. Be brave, bite the bullet and show them respect by kindly saying ‘thanks, but no thanks’.

Looking for a delightful date? Join mysinglefriend now!

From chatting to dating: how to make the move

So, you’ve matched with someone and exchanged a few messages, but how do you make the move from online talk to meeting up in real life? There are no fixed answers and it depends on how comfortable you feel, but here are a few tips to help…

Test the water

Instead of going straight in and asking for a date immediately, have a bit of a chat first. This may last a couple of days or even a few weeks, but it allows you both to test the water a bit before meeting up IRL. You may be champing at the bit to get to the in-person bit, but talking online allows you to get to know each other a bit without it getting too personal too quickly.

Get past the small talk

A bit of initial small talk and banter is good, but at some stage you should try and move past this into slightly more personal territory. Of course you shouldn’t overshare at this stage, but bringing up topics like family will allow you to start to get to past the surface level stuff and start nurturing those first shoots of a relationship.

Try a phone or video call

Seeing someone on screen or hearing their voice will give you an even better sense of who they are, while still allowing you to keep your distance if you’re still not ready to meet in person. And when you are ready, having already spoken with them will mean you won’t feel quite so anxious about making that all important good first impression.

Start small

Don’t make your first real life meet up a long one. A quick coffee at lunch time or early evening will allow you to assess whether or not there’s a spark without committing you to spending hours in each other’s company. If you decide you’d like to see each other again, you can make a plan to do something that takes longer, like go for a meal. Starting small allows you to build trust and interest in each other slowly and thoughtfully.

Practise!

Don’t feel like you have to only stick to only talking to one person on at a time MySingleFriend. Get conversations going with several people and work up to meeting them all. As well as widening the pool of potential partners, it gives you lots of practise in going on first dates. This will translate into confidence, which will make you more attractive than ever.

Looking for a delightful date? Join mysinglefriend now!

How to get more replies to your messages

Once you've got your dating profile online and honed to absolute perfection, it's time to start sending messages. This is the tricky bit and it's easy to feel disheartened if you're sending out messages but not getting many replies. However, there are a few simple tricks that you can employ to hook the interest of potential dates and make sure they reply, without coming on too strong or resorting to silly pick up lines. Here's how...

1. Make your subject line more interesting than "Hi"

If the person you've messaged has got an inbox stuffed with messages that start 'Hi', 'Hello' or 'Hey', you won't stand out from the crowd if you do exactly the same. Spend a little time thinking up a witty one-liner or something else that will catch their eye. Another great tip is to refer it back to something in their profile, which leads us neatly on to...

2. Make it clear that you've read their profile

Mentioning something you've read in their profile shows that a) you're showing a genuine interest in them and b) you aren't just copying and pasting the same message to everyone. Copying and pasting a message to loads of people is the dating equivalent of throwing mud at a wall and seeing what sticks, which isn't a position your potential date will want to be in. Make your message personal and people will be much more likely to reply.

3. Tell them about yourself

Yes, they can find out about you from your profile, but telling them a bit about yourself will grab their interest and make them more likely to visit your profile than one of those hideously banal messages that goes something like 'Hey, how are you?' Whilst you might be the most fascinating creature to ever walk the earth, they'll only know if you tell them, so get some details in there before they click away to a more interesting message.

4. Ask a question

Asking a question in a message is like offering them a hook to hang their answer on. It opens up the conversation immediately and makes it easy for them to reply. Bonus points if the question refers back to their profile, because you're killing two birds with one stone. If they say they like cooking, ask them what their favourite meal is. If they like the cinema, ask what's the best movie they've seen lately. It's a simple strategy, but super effective.

5. Ask them out on a date

We make this suggestion with the caveat of '...if you feel comfortable with that'. If you like to spend a little time getting to know someone through messaging, then stick to that, but if you're happy to meet up with people straight away (keeping our safety tips in mind, obvs), go for it! It shows a level of commitment to your online dating adventure and is certain to grab their attention in amongst all the 'Hey, how you doing?' messages. Be brave, be bold and get dates.

Looking for a delightful date? Join mysinglefriend now!

What is your love language and why does it matter?

Do you like your date to give you compliments? Or maybe you prefer physical touch? The way we enjoy being communicated with, and the way we like to receive love, is called our ‘love language’. Knowing a potential partner’s preferred love language is a great way of creating a bond between you. Read on to find out what they are:

Words of affirmation

People who enjoy this type of love language like verbal acknowledgements of affection like compliments, verbal encouragement and frequent texts or social media interactions. Being spoken to makes them feel understood and appreciated. If you’re dating someone with this love language, be sure to WhatsApp after a date to let them know you had a great time.

Quality time

If this is your partner’s love language, they will feel most special when you choose to spend plenty of time with them. They will particularly enjoy eye contact, attentive listening and someone who is fully present when they are with them. If you’re dating someone with this love language, make sure you give them your undivided attention and don’t be tempted to check your phone while they’re talking.

Gifts

This one is nice and straightforward - they feel most appreciated when given visual symbols of love. It’s important to remember that this type of love language doesn’t need you to splash the cash, as thoughtful and meaningful presents will go down much better than expensive ones. If you’re dating someone with this love language, make them a playlist of special songs.

Acts of service

Someone whose love language is acts of service values their partner doing tasks or helping them with things. For example, you might make them a cup of tea every morning or remember to pick up the bits of shopping they want. For these people, actions speak louder than words and they like to be shown the ways in which they’re appreciated rather than told. If you’re dating someone with this love language, offer to make them dinner and give them a back rub after they’ve had a hard day.

Physical touch

People who have physical touch as their love language like being shown appreciation throughs hugs, kisses, holding hands, cuddling on the sofa and sex. Physical affection not only affirms a relationship and makes us feel secure, it’s also good for our health. If you’re dating someone with this love language, make sure you offer plenty of physical affection and don’t be afraid of a PDA.

Looking for a delightful date? Join mysinglefriend now!

How to get a great date at a festival

It’s Glastonbury this weekend, which heralds to real beginning of the UK’s booming festival scene. As well as being a place to let go and have a great time, festivals are also great places for meeting new people. Here’s how to meet someone special in amongst the music and mayhem.

Talk to strangers

You go to a festival to have a great time with your mates, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t chat and hang out with other people too. Whether it’s getting to know the people you’re camping next to or having fun with the gang next to you while you’re waiting for the next act, striking up a conversation with a stranger could end up being more than just a way to pass the time.

Do things you wouldn’t usually do

One of the difficulties with meeting new people is that we tend to hang out with the same social circle and do the same things. At a festival you have the opportunity to do things you wouldn’t normally do with a whole new crowd. Fancy trying ballroom dancing? Or taking part in a drumming workshop? Or pogoing to punk music? There are lots of opportunities for new experiences at festivals, so embrace as many as you can.

Get to know their friends

When you date someone in the conventional way it will be weeks before you get to meet their friends. Finding out who someone enjoys spending time with gives you a really good insight into the type of person they are, and the people you might end up hanging out with a lot if you got together. Make the most of this sneak peak before getting involved.

Let technology give you a helping hand

If you’re at a festival, let the world know by putting it on your dating profile. That special someone will be like a needle in a haystack if you go to a big festival, so letting them know you’re in the same vicinity as them will enable them to drop you a line and suggest meeting up.

Be safe

As with any dating experience, you’ll have a better time if you’ve taken precautions to feel safe. Let your friends know where you’re going and who you’re with, keep your phone on and make sure you meet up with your mates at the arranged time. Taking care of your safety allows you to relax and enjoy yourself.

Looking for a delightful date? Join mysinglefriend now!

When is it time to go from casual dating to exclusive relationship

How do you know when you like someone enough to go from casual dating to being in an exclusive relationship? It can certainly be tricky. Even if sparks are flying, how do you know if the relationship has legs beyond the ‘seeing each other’ stage? Read on for some tips on taking things to the next level.

Don’t rush into it

The rush and excitement that comes when you’ve just started seeing someone makes it easy to think that they are definitely The One and decide you want to go exclusive immediately. However, remember that this is your hormones talking and it’s important to give it a bit of time to see how things pan out before you rush to commit yourselves.

Define ‘exclusive’

The first thing to do is to make sure you’re on the same page when it comes to knowing what ‘exclusive’ means. If one person thinks it just means you aren’t dating anyone else, and the other person thinks it means you’re completely committed and entering into a long term relationship, you are dealing with different realities.

Talk about it

This is really crucial. When you’ve defined what exclusive means to you as a couple, you need to discuss what happens from here. Talk about how you feel about each other, why you like each other, what you hope for the future and where you want the relationship to go. Being clear about these things now will stop problems occurring later.

Listen to your partner

This isn’t a one way street. Just because you have an idea of what being in a relationship means, it may not be exactly the same as what they think. Allow them to express their hopes and fears without becoming defensive or denying their thoughts and feelings. If you steamroller them into becoming exclusive you’ll soon find yourself single again.

Keep communicating

Once you’ve decided to commit, that doesn’t mean you’re set for life and never need to talk about your relationship again. It’s crucial to keep checking in and resetting where you’re at together. This will help to ensure your relationship remains solid so that you can stay exclusive, happily ever after.

Looking for a delightful date? Join mysinglefriend now!

Basic online dating tips for absolute beginners

According to recent research, over half of all couples will meet online by 2035. This means that if you want to meet that special someone, getting online is really going to boost your chances. Whether you've just come out of a long relationship or simply haven't got round to trying it yet, dipping your toe into the online dating pool can feel a bit scary at first. However, if you bear in mind that everyone was a beginner once, and follow our handy tips, you'll soon be using mysinglefriend.com like an absolute expert. 

Commit to putting some time and effort in

Though it does sometimes happen, it's unlikely that you'll meet the boy or girl of your dreams on your first date. It takes time to fill out your profile, choose pictures and chat with others, and then it takes more time to meet up with people and figure out which ones you want to see again. However, the more time you put in, the more benefit you'll get out, so don't be afraid to roll up your sleeves and get to it.

Get a wingman on board

Mysinglefriend is all about getting your mates involved, and we guarantee that having a cheerleader will make the experience much more fun. Get them to write your profile (or check what you've written and make sure you're not selling yourself short). help you choose some pictures and then search through the site for potential hotties.

Post plenty of good pictures

Research has shown that we tend to be bad at choosing pictures that show us off in our best light. Whilst you may think that super pouty selfie makes you look all seductive and mysterious, your mate will probably think that you look a bit grumpy and not demonstrating your sparkling personality. Listen to their advice and post a selection of pictures that show the real you.

Cast your net widely

If you get bogged down in the details of trying to find exactly who you think you're looking for (e.g brown hair, over 6 foot, green eyes, is fanatical about Emmerdale), you're going to narrow down your options instantly. Being open minded about meeting all sorts of different people gives you much more opportunity to meet someone lovely, even if they don't fit your tick list. In fact, we recommend chucking away your tick list: we know couples who would never had met if they had stuck so rigidly to their imagined perfect date! 

Don't be shy about meeting up in real life

Thought the idea of meeting up with a stranger in real life can feel intimidating, it's important to remember that it's the whole reason you've started online dating in the first place! Once you've had a bit of a chat online, suggest meeting up IRL so you can see if you really click when you aren't both hidden behind a keyboard. The first time you meet someone will be nerve wracking, but, like everything in life, the more you do it, the easier it will get.

Relax and enjoy!

The most important thing to remember is that online dating should be fun! It sometimes requires a thick skin, as not every date will be perfect, but as soon as you learn to chalk those up to experience (and enjoy telling it as a funny anecdote), you'll have no problems. See it as a fun hobby, rather than a stressful chore, and you'll soon be having a ball!

Looking for a delightful date? Join mysinglefriend now!

Why making the first move will help you find love

One of the questions we get asked the most is 'Should I make the first move when it comes to sending someone a message?'. For example, if someone adds you as a favourite, is it OK to immediately send them a message or should you wait to receive one first? In short, what's the etiquette? Read on for some tips on easily navigating the world of online dating.

Should I message first?

Yes! Whilst many of us have retained some old fashioned notions around not making the first move, you have to grab every chance you get to make people notice you. If someone you like the look of adds you as a favourite but doesn't message you, take the initiative and message them, as they have clearly made an expression of interest. And, even if someone hasn't favourited you, don't be afraid to send messages anyway. The more people you contact, the more dates you will get.

How long should I wait for a reply? Should I follow up with another message?

People have different expectations when it comes to how quickly they should reply to messages, and they might not match up with yours. If you bombard someone with messages asking why they haven't replied, it's highly likely to put them off, so resist this impulse. Give them a couple of days, then send them a quick reminder. If they still don't reply, move on to someone else.

How quickly should I reply?

As quickly as you like! Any 'rules' about leaving it a certain amount of time should be completely discarded as you're here to meet someone, not to play games. If someone took the trouble to message you they'll want a reply, so don't fret about putting them off by being too keen.

Should I ignore messages from people I'm not interested in?

No. Whilst it may seem pointless to engage in conversation with people you don't want to meet up with, it's just good manners to send a quick 'Thanks, but no thanks' message. Everyone likes to be noticed, even if they don't get the result they want, so do people the courtesy of replying and it makes everyone's life that little bit better. 

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Seven bad dating habits that are holding you back

If you find yourself continually making the same mistakes when it comes to dating, it might be time to look at the habits you’ve fallen into and seeing if there’s anything you could be doing differently. These are some of the toxic dating habits it’s easy to adopt, and how to get rid of them.

Fixating on small details

It’s really easy to build up a picture of your perfect partner in your mind and then be disappointed when the people you meet inevitably don’t match up to it. Leave your list of the things you think you want at home and be curious about who your date is, rather than who you want them to be.

Dating unavailable people

If someone is on a dating site, you’d hope they’d be available, right? In theory, yes, but there are many ways to be unavailable. For example, f someone has recently come out of a relationship and is still hung up on their ex, they’re unavailable. Rather than believing you can rescue them from their sadness, back off and give them time to get over it. Then dedicate yourself to looking for someone who is genuinely ready for a relationship.

Getting too serious immediately

Good, solid relationships take time to develop, so if you find yourself going from having a date to practically living together within a couple of weeks, things are moving too fast and it won’t last. Slow down, maintain your own space and give a relationship the chance to grow naturally.

Ignoring red flags

A red flag is something that means you are fundamentally incompatible, no matter how much you wish it away, for example someone not wanting to have kids when you do. Although it might not seem like it matters when you start dating, it will end up breaking your heart, so know how to recognise red flags and act on them before things go too far.

Expecting an immediate spark

Before a date you’ll probably be feeling all tingly with anticipation, which may fade when you actually meet them in real life. But don’t let that put you off because often there won’t be an immediate, exciting spark. If you have a good time with someone, that’s enough. See them again, and see if your feelings grow.

Falling into a relationship you don’t really want

On the flipside, you don’t want to spend so much time waiting for the spark that you end up dating for so long that you find a year has passed and you’re in a relationship you aren’t that into. It’s important to give people a chance, but you also need to check in with your own feelings and see if you really want to pursue a relationship with this person.

Not being honest

Dating works best when you are honest, both with yourself and your date. Telling fibs about yourself at the beginning can land you in trouble later, as can pretending to be really into someone when you’re actually not 100% sure. Be honest, but kind, and things will work out for the best.

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Five dating deal breakers that you need to ditch right now

Having deal breakers when it comes to choosing people to date is a good thing. Negative qualities like inconsistency, bad communication, disrespect and a one-sided approach to a relationship can easily become issues in a relationship and it’s right to be wary of them. However, sometimes we have deal breakers that aren’t genuine problems and lead us to expect too much from a date, who is only human after all. Here are some ‘deal breakers’ that you shouldn’t let ruin your love life.

Physical features

Some women won’t date a man shorter than them. Some men won’t date a woman over a certain dress size. All of these people are massively losing out for no reason. Getting too fixated on the type of physical attributes you want someone to have means you make your pool of potential dates way smaller than it needs to be. Don’t judge someone purely on their photos, meet up with them in real life. Chemistry will overrule everything else in an instant, and you can only tell if you have that when you meet up IRL.

Not into your hobby or interest

If you’re passionate about rugby or playing Dungeons & Dragons and your date thinks it’s boring, it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to love all of the same things or do everything together, in fact it’s healthy to have different interests and times you can spend apart. As long as they’re respectful of your interests, they don’t have to share them.

Different levels of comfort when it comes to PDAs

You might be happy having a full on snog in public, whereas your date might not even feel comfortable holding hands. It’s worth remembering that people take time to feel relaxed in a situation, and also that not wanting to kiss in public doesn’t mean they don’t like you. Give them a chance to loosen up, or decide to stop worrying about it.

Can’t read your mind

Whatever stage you’re at in a relationship, it’s always vital to remember that your partner can’t read your mind. If someone isn’t behaving as you’d like them to, or not doing something you want them to, it’s on you to tell them. Communication is vital in a relationship, so don’t expect your partner to have clairvoyant skills and then being annoyed with them when they don’t.

They’re not the person you imagined them to be

It’s natural to build up an idea in your mind of the person you’d like to date, but you need to remember not to get too attached to it. Your date may have similar qualities to your imaginary perfect person, but they won’t be exactly the same. Compromise is key, so don’t get too hung up on finding someone who ticks every single box.

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Why bad dates are actually good dates

Unless you’re one of those incredibly lucky people who find love on their very first date, the chances are you’ll have a few (or a lot!) that won’t be successful. They might be perfectly pleasant but there’s no spark or they might be the type of disaster that gives you an anecdote you’re still telling years later. However, the truth is that no date is a bad date. Here’s why…

Every date is good practice

Unless you are an incredibly outgoing person, you’re bound to find going on dates a bit nerve wracking, especially in the early days. But practice makes perfect, and the more dates you go on, the more comfortable you’ll feel meeting new people. Treat every date like a rehearsal for the next one means none of your time will be wasted, even if you don’t hit it off.

Every date helps you grow in confidence

The more you date, the more confident you’ll feel about dating. You’ll develop the skills necessary to make conversation with a stranger and this will boost how you feel about yourself. Plus, the more confidence you gain, the more attractive you will be to others, meaning you’re more likely to find that elusive spark.

Every date offers you the chance of making a new friend

Even if you don’t feel romance blooming with a date, it doesn’t mean that they can’t be part of your life in another way. If you have lots in common and get on well, why not ask them if they’d be interested in being friends? You can never have too many mates.

Every date gets you out of the house and socialising

If you’ve been single for a while, especially during the pandemic, you may have fallen out of the habit if going out and socialising in public. Going on some dates will help you regain confidence in this area and simply give you a chance to let your hair down and enjoy yourself, even if you don’t meet up again.

Every date takes you a step closer to the perfect date

The more dates you go on, the closer you are to meeting The One. Don’t get downhearted if a date doesn’t work out, as it just means the next one is more likely to be a success. Meeting more people increases your likelihood of meeting someone you really like, so don’t be afraid of bad dates as each one is getting you closer to your goal.

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6 rules for making your first date a success

First dates are nerve wracking and you may feel worried that you’re going to mess up that all important first meeting without meaning to. However, if you stick to a few easy principles you’ll be able to relax and enjoy yourself. Follow these rules for guaranteed dating success…

Make it to an IRL date

The first step on the road to dating success is showing up. You may have spent a while chatting online and feel like you’ve got a connection with someone, but you won’t know for sure if the all important chemistry is there unless you meet up in real life. It’s important to meet someone in the flesh sooner rather than later, so you don’t end up feeling like you’ve invested more in them than you would have otherwise.

Remember that they will be nervous too

Even the most confident person in the world will feel a tremor of first date nerves, so don’t presume you’re the only one feeling worried about making a good impression. Knowing that the person sitting opposite you is feeling nervous as well will help you to relax yourself. Also, if you’re feeling tense - tell them! They’ll probably say the same and the ice will be broken.

Keep your phone out of sight

We all have highly co-dependent relationships with our smartphones, but this is one time you need to cope without it. Having half an eye on WhatsApp suggests that you aren’t really interested in your date and they will be put off seeing you again. Giving someone your full attention is a highly attractive trait, so leave your phone in your bag or pocket.

Do your homework

Even if you’ve chatted a bit online, do some homework on your date beforehand. Re-read their profile and go over any emails you’ve shared to freshen up on what you’ve talked about and any information you’ve learned about them. However, we don’t suggest you Google them or scroll back through the last ten years of their Facebook profile, as knowing too much about them will come over as a bit creepy.

Don’t get drunk

Having several drinks for dutch courage might seem like a good idea when you’re feeling those first date nerves, but getting drunk is not a good idea. It might loosen your tongue a little too much and before you know it you’ve spent the whole date talking about your ex or moaning about your job. Have one or two, but know when to stop.

Don’t insist on setting up another date at the end

Unless it’s obvious you both really want to see each other again, don’t pressure your date into planning another date at the end of the night. They may not be sure, or may have another date planned, or may just react badly to being pushed into another meeting before the first one is over. End it with ‘It was great to meet you, I’ll text you in a couple of days’ or something similar that expresses your enjoyment but doesn’t leave them feeling trapped into anything more.

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Why good profile photos lead to good dates

Just as in real life, first impressions count when someone first casts their eye over your profile. If your photo isn't up to scratch, that potential date is going to move on quicker than a camera flash. It’s all about the visuals in that first moment of attraction and adding a photo that is the onscreen equivalent of you wearing your PJs and knackered old trainers on a night out isn't going to cut it. Here are the types of photos you should avoid using to maximise your chances of getting plenty of dates.

Poor quality photos

If your photos are fuzzy, pixelated or you're so far away from the camera that your features can't be clearly seen, we guarantee that you won't be doing yourself any favours. Well-focussed, colourful, head and shoulders shots will get you the most attention (we've been doing this for ten years, so trust us on this one.)

Selfies

Smartphones have now evolved to the point where taking a good photo of yourself is easy. A few quick tips to make sure you look good include thinking about lighting, trying different angles, not getting too close to the camera and, crucially, smiling! Here’s a blog we wrote with further advice on taking a great selfie.

No pouting please

Whilst you might think that ultra moody black-and-white shot makes you look all smouldering and moody, the chances are that a potential date thinks you look grumpy and miserable, which is an instant turn off. Smile and the world smiles with you, as the saying goes, so find a picture where you look bright and smiley.

Group shots

Your primary profile photo should be a photo of just you - no friends, no exes and no random bunch of strangers on holiday. The people viewing your profile won't be dating anyone other than you, so you're the only one they need to see (also, it's helpful for them to be clear which one is definitely you!). Save group shots for the rest of your photos.

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