Met someone you like? Starting to think there could be a future in this relationship? Here are ten pieces of advice that will enable you to get off on the right foot and build something really special together.
Look forward, not back
Whether you’re 20 or 50, you will have had some experiences and previous relationships that will colour your view of your new relationship. While you shouldn’t deny your past, it’s important to not let issues or difficulties from your past affect your future. Focus on how you want life to be, rather than ruminating on what went wrong previously.
talk about what you want
It’s vital to be clear about what you’re looking for in a relationship early on. Want to get married and have a family? Definitely don’t want kids? Plan to live abroad for a while? Spell this out as soon as possible to avoid disappointment later on if your partner has different desires.
do you like them or the idea of them?
Make sure you like the person you are dating, rather than the idea of being in a relationship. If you overlook red flags and flaws just because you want to a partner, you’ll regret it later on.
don’t keep talking about your ex
It’s important that your new partner knows your previous relationship history, but they don’t need to know the nitty-gritty about your exes. If you talk about them excessively, whether it’s good or bad, they’ll be wondering if you’re ready for a new relationship.
get to know their friends
Getting to know someone’s friends gives you a great indication of who someone really is, rather than the best side they are showing you. If you don’t like their friends, you may not know your partner as well as you think you do.
have big conversations face-to-face
Got something important to talk about? Do it face-to-face, rather than via text or email. Talking about big stuff can be scary, but it’s better to do it in person.
be clear when you want to go exclusive…
If you’ve both been dating other people, but you’ve realised you want to be exclusive with one person, be clear about making that request. It will save heartache later if you fudged the conversation and find out they’re still seeing other people.
… AND know if a situation isn’t right for you
If you’ve told someone you want to move your relationship on to a more serious level and they want to keep seeing other people, don’t hang on for ages for them to change their mind. Being able to recognise when a situation is no longer right for you will help you move on and find something that is.
don’t spend every second together
Having time apart is healthy for all relationships, so build that on early. While you may be loved up now, the honeymoon period will pass, and it’s important to maintain friendships in the meantime so those people are still around later.
KEEP your word
Whether you’re agreeing not to see other people or simply a time to meet for dinner, stick to your promises. Being honest and accountable to your partner creates safety and security, which is the bedrock of a really solid relationship.
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